i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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