I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
