i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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