MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
