I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
