I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize