he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
