dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
