Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
