Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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