im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
