"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What drink are we having for lunch?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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