You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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