we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize