Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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