And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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