this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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