Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
