PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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