JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
