i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
