Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
