Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
