oh god the rape fog is back!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
