This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
