wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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