Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
