do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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