No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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