no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
