You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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