My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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