Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
