So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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