I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
