SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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