Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
