Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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