so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
