Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
