Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
