sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
