that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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