Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize