i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize