i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
