we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
