If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
