I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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