i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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