he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
