the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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