It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
