the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
