So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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