sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
