it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If I die, sorry about rent.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
