grandma shit on top of the toilet
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
