how can u be prego again
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize