I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
