Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
