The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
