I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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