I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize