Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
