what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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