this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
