took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
