somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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